Christchurch

Christchurch is supposed to be the South Island’s most bustling city. Had you ever walked around here, you wouldn’t believe that.

I pull into the airport about 30 minutes early, because apparently our plane had a gnarly tail wind. This has never happened to anybody in the history of all plane rides, so I decide to take advantage of my opportunity and explore the town a bit with my extra time. The shuttle to the city is cheap and friendly, and the driver, who looks exactly like Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys (or my Uncle Duncan, who I always thought looked like Brian Wilson), tells me all of the great sites to catch.

I’m dropped off at the city center, Cathedral Square, and begin taking pictures immediately. This is a charming little city, and, as advertised, is unabashedly British. Even everyone at the bars is actually British, or I just assume they’re British because they’re loud and violent.

All of the streets are named things like “Manchester” and “Worschesire.” There’s an awesome little river running through the middle of town called the Avon, and Victoria Square looks like an ancient British garden, at it’s center is the Queen herself. For all the statues they have of her in this country, she’s really not that that attractive of a lady.

It’s a bit strange how much the Zealanders hold on to the whole “British Colony” thing. I had the chance to talk with a University of Auckland political science professor and he said although there is quite a bit of anti-monarchy sentiment, the stats show most people still like the idea of it. However, it looks like things may start to fall apart when Elizabeth dies, which probably wont be any time soon.

Walking around here I feel a bit out of a zombie movie. The city is large and well planned - but there’s just nobody here. The only people I do see are just about as close to zombies as you can find - hammered British folk limping around and slurring their words so much that they sounded like zombies who say “fuck” a lot.

Tomorrow I’m headed to pick up our rental car and we’re headed South to Dunedin. Joe is anxious to get some surfing in and I’m anxious to meet more girls who find my accent sexy. It sounds like we both just may get what we’re looking for.