Sports

Never in my life have I had so much free time. It’s not that I’m necessarily bored in Auckland, it’s more that school here just isn’t nearly as demanding as back home (may have something to do with my affinity for “slacker classes”). So, I’ve been testing out a few new sports.

First off is rugby. Great sport. The Kiwis love it, are amazing at it, and are extremely forgiving teachers. We had an inter-residential tourney the other day, and I can say I’ve never had so much fun getting my ass kicked. Rugby is really hard, and extremely physically exerting. The comparisons to football make no sense, as rugby is nothing like football. In football, you have time to think and strategize. Rugby requires a lot of quick thinking and “just go for it” moves. Also, non-Americans like to say American football is sissy because we wear pads -  but I disagree with such a statement, as in Rugby, without helmets and pads, the hits aren’t nearly as hard.

Next are two that I have some familiarity with - Badminton and soccer. Badminton is probably the greatest game invented, because anyone can play and be pretty good, and when you’re in a competitive match you sweat your ass off. There are two reasons why I love soccer here. First off, the Kiwis call it soccer, and I really get sick of all the Euros saying “but it’s football!” I know you don’t play football with your foot, but the word “soccer” has the pizazz appropriated for a sport featuring players as metrosexual as Ronaldo. Secondly, I am on a motley crew of a team assembled from my housing complex, and the kids on it are hilarious. We have a few Malaysians, who are nice as hell but very tricky with their feet, a zealous Danish captain who writes up player reports every week, and a Chilean who, despite the gentle nature of some of our opponents, flagrantly fouls continuously during the games.

Next we have squash. Now I know squash is pretty big in some places back home, but here it’s huge. I tested it out with my Scottish buddy and got dizzy with how tiring it was. I’d like to get into it though, as it’s way more fun than tennis and a better workout.

Then there’s Cricket. I haven’t attempted to play and refuse to. Cricket is, without a doubt, the worst game ever invented. It’s way slower than baseball, more lazy than bowling, and about as exciting as a darts match in slow motion. I have no idea why the world enjoy this sport, and am glad that it isn’t big back home. The cricket world cup just happened, India won, and I was unfortunate enough to watch a few games with the Indians downstairs. No game should take five days and not even have a clear winner at the end of those. America - lets stick with baseball.

Lastly we have the game that I am confident the Americans will dominate in - beer olympics. We have a residential-wide tourney today, my partner being the Chilean. Other than the Kiwis (this is absolutely a country of alcoholics), I am positive the Americans will hand the competition their pride on a plate. USA! USA!